First, what is a boundary? The definition of a boundary is:
the line that marks the limit of an area
Next, why do we need healthy boundaries? We need healthy boundaries to keep from overextending ourselves.
People in our life need to be aware we have boundaries.
Here is an example for you, of a healthy boundary.
Your co-worker asks you to do one of their tasks. Normally, this task would be something they complete, but as they are behind schedule, due to their own procrastination, they ask you to do this task for them.
You are on schedule with your tasks, but completing their task would push YOU behind schedule.
This is when I want you to say, “No.”
Of course, I am not suggesting being rude or disrespectful. But, I would suggest for you to express to your co-worker, you are not able to take on their task.
This is a healthy boundary. You realize helping your co-worker pushes YOU behind schedule and you politely deny their request.
Unfortunately, all situations aren’t always black and white. Sometimes, a family member will ask you for a favor. You might think to yourself, “Do I have the time and/or money to help?” But before you answer, you think, “It’s family! I should help!”
While I agree that we should always try to help family, what I believe you should do in that moment is put yourself first.
Ask yourself, “Do I have the time or money to help them right now?” If you do, great. But, if you don’t, remember that it is okay to say No.
People, especially family, need to understand that you have boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are important, especially those of us who are “helpers”, which I discussed in my last post.
As a helper, we ALWAYS want to help others. There is nothing wrong with always wanting to help others.
The problem is when you overextend yourself. You do not have the time, space, or money to help, but you WANT to help! Ugh, what do you do???
Well, the whole point of this post is to ensure YOU are aware of your healthy boundaries and that you remind others that you have boundaries.
I want you to comfortable with all your decisions concerning helping others.
NO ONE should ever push past your healthy boundaries because THEY WANT something from you.
Figure out what your healthy boundaries are today.